Receive and Reflect God’s Agape Love in Parenting

Abound in Love: Receive and Reflect God’s Agape Love in Parenting

Parenting is filled with joys, challenges, and moments that stretch us beyond what we think we can bear. Sometimes all on the same day! As Christian parents, we are called to love our children with an extraordinary kind of love—a love that mirrors God’s unconditional, sacrificial, and grace-filled love, known as agape love. This kind of love not only transforms our relationship with our children but also reflects God’s heart to them and the world around us. The way we love our children can give them a glimpse of God's love for them. Love that caused the Father to send His Only Son into the world as a sacrifice for all of creation.

Being loved can provide a strong sense of security. After all, perfect love casts our fear. There is no more perfect love than God's love.

What Is Agape Love?

Agape love is the highest form of love. It is selfless, and sacrificial, with unwavering commitment to the well-being of others. This is the love God shows us, most perfectly displayed in the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ. As parents, we are given the privilege and responsibility of extending this love to our children. We are to love them not based on their behaviour or performance but simply because they are loved by God and entrusted to our care.

The Apostle Paul describes this love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESVUK):

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

The Challenge of Loving Like God

Let’s be honest - parenting can test our ability to love unconditionally. When your toddler throws a tantrum in the middle of the supermarket, your teenager responds with sarcasm, or your child repeatedly forgets the rules, it can feel impossible to respond with patience and grace. Yet, these are the moments when agape love can shine brightest.

Loving like God does not mean we ignore poor behaviour or avoid setting boundaries. Instead, it means addressing these challenges with kindness, empathy, and a heart rooted in God’s love. It is choosing to discipline with the goal of restoration rather than punishment, and to guide our children with wisdom rather than anger.

Without God’s help, it is easy to slip into conditional love, offering affection only when our children meet our expectations. This can create a performance-based dynamic that leaves children feeling unloved, insecure or afraid to let us down. Reflecting God’s agape love helps us break free from this trap, offering our children the same steadfast love that God offers us.

We may be adults, with out own children, but God eternally extends this love to us to. Before we can hope to effectively love our children we must be intentional about meditating on and receiving God's love for ourselves. When it comes to love, we cannot give what we do not receive. Just as a mirror can only reflect light it receives, so we can only reflect God's agape love if we receive it first.

Dealing with Our Own Past Wounds

As parents, our past experiences influence our parenting. Unresolved hurts, disappointments, or fears can influence how we relate to our children, or because they impact how we see ourselves or the world around us. For example, a parent who struggled with feelings of rejection may overcompensate by being overly permissive or excessively strict in an attempt to gain control.

Most often it is not that we do not love our children. There can sometimes be a disconnect in how we show love which can affect how well our children know love. We do not need to feel guilty here. God is the answer. Love is best demonstrated when it is given, not held within us unable to realise it's full expression.

It is essential to bring wounds, misunderstandings, or hinderances to God in prayer, seeking His healing, insight and restoration. Consider journaling, speaking with a trusted mentor, or pursuing counselling if needed. Reading and meditating on the Word of God is a great healer. As we allow God's Spirit to examine and heal our hearts and minds, we are better equipped to love our children with the fullness of His agape love. It may be a bit of a journey, but it is certainly worth it.

Receiving God’s Love

Before we can truly reflect God’s agape love to our children, we must first receive it for ourselves. If we struggle to fully embrace the depth of God’s love because of past hurts, feelings of unworthiness, or distorted views of God. Taking time to reflect on how we perceive God’s love is crucial for our personal and spiritual growth. None of us receive God's love as fully as it can be. We live in a fallen world, we do not understand every Scripture perfectly so can misunderstand God. Even if no past of present pain or rejection comes to mind we would all do well to regularly reflect on God's love for us.

1. Spend Time in God’s Presence:

   Set aside moments each day to meditate on scriptures that affirm God’s love for you. Verses like Romans 8:38-39 remind us that nothing can separate us from His love.

2. Identify Hindrances:

   Ask yourself, What beliefs or experiences hinder me from fully believing God loves me? Journaling these thoughts and praying for God’s truth to replace lies can lead to freedom. We can ask the Holy Spirit to reveal what we cannot see and help us face what we may have ignored.

3. Reflect on His Sacrifice:

   Jesus’ death and resurrection are the ultimate demonstration of God’s love. Reflecting on this truth helps us grasp the immeasurable value God places on us. The more we gaze into God's love in action we more we see ourselves through His eyes.

4. Accept Grace:

   God’s love is not earned; it is freely given. Release the need to work for His approval and practice resting in the truth that you are already deeply loved.

As we grow in our understanding of God’s love we can better receive it. God's love can then transforms how we parent. We become more patient, compassionate, and grace-filled because we draw from the inexhaustible well of His love. As we receive God's love we can reflect it to others, like our children.

Practical Ways to Reflect Agape Love in Parenting

Reflecting agape love isn’t always easy, but it is possible through God’s grace. Here are some practical ways to embody this love in your parenting:

1. Practice Patience:

   Take a deep breath before responding to frustrating situations. Remind yourself that your child is still learning and growing. Ask God for the patience to guide them gently.

2. Choose Sacrifice:

   Parenting often requires setting aside your desires for the sake of your child. This might mean spending time with them when you are tired or sacrificing personal goals to meet their needs. We can avoid running on empty by ensuring we fill ourselves up by spending time with the Holy Spirit through the Word of God and prayer.

3. Model Forgiveness:

   Children will make mistakes, and so will we as parents. Show them what it means to forgive by extending grace when they fall short and asking for forgiveness when you do.

4. Speak Words of Life:

   Use your words to build up your children, affirming their identity in Christ. Avoid harsh criticism and instead focus on encouragement and constructive guidance. Start each day by praising your children. Look out for and mention a couple of positive things a day. Find one or two Scriptures or Scripture-based phrases to speak over your children regularly. Over time, these will become so familiar to them they will recall these words when they are tempted to doubt their value.

5. Be Present:

   Love is often spelled T-I-M-E. Prioritise time with your children to listen, play, and engage in meaningful conversations. There are seasons where we may find it challenging to regularly spend quality time with our children. It can be useful to pause to think creatively about ways we can rather than focusing on what we cannot do.

   
   

God’s agape love is the foundation for our parenting. As we embrace His love for ourselves and allow it to overflow into our relationships with our children, we model the kind of love that points them to Christ. Let this month be a time of growing in grace, extending forgiveness, and showing your family the beauty of unconditional love.

Think-Pray-Pause

“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8, ESVUK)

Read the Scripture then think about it, use it to pray, and pause to listen to what the Holy Spirit has to say. Do this in any order or configuration that you like.

Here's an example:

• Think: Reflect on how God has demonstrated agape love in your life. What, if anything, hinders your ability to receive the fullness of God's love?

• Pray: Ask God to fill your heart with His love and to give you the grace to parent with patience, kindness, and selflessness.

• Pause: Take a moment to listen to what the Holy Spirit is speaking to you about your heart and mind and His agape love.

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